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[Nov. 13th, 2005|09:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Helpful!Lethal_Froggie | ] |
Welcome to Sue Hell. Abandon All Hope Yea Who Enter Here.
Submit your Sue stories by emailing them to me and have your Sues placed in their appropriate Ring of Sue Hell. email- staoge06@yahoo.com
On obligatory poking sticks. Otherwise known as swords.
Because in fantasy swords are everywhere. Everyone has a sword, and the easiest way to identify the villain is to look for the other guy with a sword.
Just…stop. Please. Think of other weapons. They’re out there, you know. I’m a fencer, and I can tell that you’ve never put your hand to a sword hilt before when you have your heroine swinging around a ten pound broadsword. Which leads me to point 1.
1.) Keep the strength of your character in mind.
Swords are heavy. Your average girl (me, for example) gets tired holding a fencing epee after ten minutes. Your heroine isn’t going to be able to reasonably wield a broadsword, unless she’s been taking the magical equivalent of steroids. Also, no gangly teenage hero will be able to wield a broadsword unless they’ve been doing some serious weightlifting in their arms. Adult swordsmen are much more believable, because they’ve moved past puberty and don’t have to deal with the growth spurts and other problems it brings.
The point- your girls are going to wield lighter swords than your men. Get over it. Have your girls make up for it by the speed and endurance those lighter swords will bring. Adjust the age of your male protagonist to young adulthood, or mention the problems puberty has on his ability to wield a sword- growth spurts take away muscle, so your male protagonist may not be able to wield a sword for a month or two while he rebuilds muscle mass. Also, a really large sword is probably going to require special training and lots of weight training.
2.) How portable is your sword?
Swords are heavy. Your protagonist isn’t going to carry it everywhere, especially if he has a horse. It’s size and length are also going to affect where it’s carried. Shorter swords are carried on the waist (otherwise they smack against the leg), long ones on the back. The sword is drawn from the opposite side of your dominant hand. (in battle it would be impossible to draw if it was on your dominant side) Swords on the back can be drawn downwards or over the shoulder, depending on whether the scabbard points up or down. Keep this in mind when doing battle, as this will affect what side your character makes killing blows from, as well as initial slashes (if it’s a slashing sword- which leads me to point 3.)
4.) Not all swords are alike.
Fantasy authors are given to lengthy descriptions of their swords- but never tell you anything really useful about the sword. There are other swords than the standard crossguard single ruvlet double edged medieval broadsword that is assumed in fantasy worlds. Picture your protagonist’s sword in your head- really picture it, under all the fancy trappings. What shape is the blade? It’s with, length, and thickness? Is it curved or straight? Does it have a cross guard, a bell guard, or a basket hilt? Is the handle long enough for two hands, one hand, or is it a handle and a half/bastard sword? Does it have a pommel? Does the blade have a rivulet? Is it single edge or double edged? Does it have a sharpened tip? All these things are going to affect the strengths and weaknesses of your sword. Which leads me to point 5.
5.) Good swords, like good characters, have strengths and weaknesses.
A longer sword blade means greater reach, but a heavier sword and slower strikes. Two handed grip means greater stability, but at the cost of wielding another weapon (such as a swordbreaker). Once you know what your sword looks like, think about the weaknesses and strengths of that particular aspect of the sword. And think of the weaknesses of the sword as a whole.
6.) Think- do you really need a sword?
Swords have weaknesses- first, it’s probably the most common weapon, so Infantry solider #20343 probably knows how to parry it well, some dirty tricks, ect (if he didn’t, he’d be Hero Cannon Fodder #749830). It doesn’t have a very good range compared to other weapons. And if you have guns, they’re pretty much obsolete. But most of all, it CLICHÉ. With big fat capital letters.
Think. Does it have to be a sword? Research other weapons. For example, a mace is impossible to block but requires a great deal of control and has little accuracy. Make up your own weapons. Have your hero improvise and take weapons from his/her surroundings. Steel pipes, pots, axes, chisels, toilet brushes- you name it, someone’s probably killed with it. Our, if you do parody fantasy, you can go the Final Fantasy IX route- villains kill with notebooks and loudspeakers in that game.
Rant on the fighting styles and maintenance of swords next. Comment to request a rant. |
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| Tentacle p0rn |
[Oct. 22nd, 2005|09:26 pm] |
Welcome to Sue Hell. Abandon All Hope Yea Who Enter Here.
Submit your Sue stories by emailing them to me and have your Sues placed in their appropriate Ring of Sue Hell. email- staoge06@yahoo.com
While looking up LSU’s education, I came upon this little gem.
Louisiana State University Eunice (LSUE)
With majors now available in Angst, Wangst, Advanced Wangst, Canonrape, Annoying the crap out of readers, AIM Speak, OOCing Canon Characters, (lack of) Grammar, Masquerading as a Canon characters, and so much more!
Apply your OC to LSUE today!
And now, presenting the Magna Cum Laude of LSUE:
Name and Location- It’s a Silent Hill Thing/ http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2588461/1/
Fandom Possessed- Silent Hill
Culprit/Sinner- Ayame Ito
Overall sucky-ness- Vacuum Suck (1 black hole)
The Damned- Madelyn
Demon/damned pairs- none, as the Sue is too busy being fangirlish over the monsters who are trying to kill her.
Fiery pit of origin- Plays Silent Hill. Harry Mason is her psychologist. Even through he is a *writer* in the game, and has no business giving out any kind of psychiatric advice.
Silken Tresses- none described
Flashing orbs- none described
Speshul Powers/Possessions- Total obsession for silent hill. Drawing Pyramid head doing lewd things to a mannequin. And the biggest crime in my book, making Vincent OOC.
Sins- OOC Character, PWP (I refuse to call a self-insert running around being fangirlish a ‘plot’), Victim!Sue, Angst!Sue, Bitch!Sue, Clumsy!Sue, Insertion!Sue, Cannonrape, SpecialPower!Sue, Plot!Sue,
Level of Hell- The deepest, lowest layer, right there w/ Suetan.
Punishment- Frozen in the eternal ice while one of the three heads of Suetan chews her from the head down, while voles chew her from the toes up. This is where we get the nickname for ff.net, the ‘Pit of Voles’
Notes- And now, a thorough analysis of how this Sue is wrong, in every way that a Sue can be wrong.
( Read more... ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|05:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Geeky!Lethal_Froggie | ] |
Welcome to Sue Hell. Abandon All Hope Yea Who Enter Here.
Submit your Sue stories by emailing them to me and have your Sues placed in their appropriate Ring of Sue Hell. email- staoge06@yahoo.com
Ah, DeviantArt. At least at the Pit we didn’t have to see the sues. Anyway, another Deviant!Sue.
Name and Location- Miracle/ http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/8445078/
Fandom Possessed- Kingdom Hearts
Culprit/Sinner- dreamseerX
Overall sucky-ness- Vampire Suck (one bite mark)
The Damned- Kiseki
Demon/damned pairs- none
Fiery pit of origin- just dropped into traverse town from Spira
Silken Tresses- ‘soft black hair’
Flashing orbs- Not mentioned (thankfully…)
Speshul Powers/Possessions- none.
Sins- PWP, Angst!Sue, Crossover!Sue
Level of Hell- 5th circle, the Swamp of Styx.
Punishment- Here in the 5th circle, Both Bitch!Sues and Angst!Sues alike dwell in a slow-moving river of poisonous hot chocolate- the same river Campus Ministers are so eager to send you across on ‘marshmallows’ during retreats. In addition to the obvious pain of being in a boiling river of poisonous hot chocolate, the Bitch!Sues fight each other in the muck, while the Angst!Sues are immersed under it, chanting an endless litany whose words strike terror into any writer’s soul that passes:
“Sullen were we in the stories made sweet by canon; in the glory of it’s rays we poured but bitter wangst. In Angst we begun; thus in angst we must lie forever in this ditch.”
Notes- I knew this was a Sue the instant I saw the fic began with the entire lyrics to a switchback song.
After the song, the rest of the story is just…dumb. No coherence, no plot, just some random sue dropping into Traverse Town. After the Sue crashes into the town, all the people act mean to her, for no reason (or because they realize she’s a sue), allowing her wangst in full blow emo Sue style. I’ve not seen this level of wangst since Anakin in Attack of the Clones.
Sample (Oh Woe is me! Woe is me! ... SCREW YOU SUE!)
Every so often she stopped to look around at her surroundings, but she would be shoved and pushed to keep moving. It was rather annoying and she said her fair share of curse words to those who were very ill-mannered. But they seemed to just overlook her.
“Move it you little brat!” yelled a big heavy set lady as she shoved Kiseki to the side, causing her to fall suddenly onto her back.
Kiseki watched as the woman began to walk away, not even glancing back once or offer to help her. Kiseki growled, “You know, manners are a nice thing to have!“
The woman turned suddenly and glared at her, “Don’t speak to me you filth!” The woman glared at her, disgust and appalled. Before turning, she spat on Kiseki and stormed away. Kiseki wiped off the disgusting fluid and began to brush the dirt off of her outfit.
People pushed and shoved her along, yelling at her to move her lazy behind. Kiseki tried her best to keep up with the flow of the mass of people, but the current was too strong.
Kiseki was thoroughly confused as to why all these people glared and cursed her out. Frustrated, she moved out to the side of the crowd and sat down on a bench, leaning over to rest her arms on her knees tiredly. Closing her eyes, she let her dark hair fall over her shoulders and into her face. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|06:10 pm] |
Welcome to Sue Hell. Abandon All Hope Yea Who Enter Here.
Submit your Sue stories by emailing them to me and have your Sues placed in their appropriate Ring of Sue Hell. email- staoge06@yahoo.com
I live!
I got tired of the Pit o’ Voles and ventured into new Territory- DeviantArt. For those of you who don’t know, DeviantArt does have a section for fanfiction and for those who run their own sue sporking sites, it’s a veritable untouched GOLDMINE of Sue. That's why the update was so late- I found a beauty of a Suefic, but it was long. Now that that's done, let's begin the sporking, shall we?
title- Naiomi’s tale,
Link (to the first chapter)- http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/15268539/
Fandom- Kingdom Hearts
Perpetrator- Naomi-wiflath
Rating- none
Sues- You guessed it- Naomi (main sue), Zeke, Nikki/Corrie, Tobias, Riku, and Mark
Pairings- I smell the foul stench of a Riku/OC- again, guess who? Possibly even a Sora/OC/Riku triangle- I’m not sure though, I’ll have to read further.
Best line ever- “Tobias was annoyed by Riku’s sudden interest in her sleeping habits.” Taken out of context, my mind could warp that in such dirty, dirty ways.
Annoying origin/connection to cannon characters- Is a KH fanatic who fell into the world of KH- the characters practically beat us over the head with how similar she is to Sora. And she’s a keyblade master.
Hair-“Golden Brown”
Eyes- “Emerald Brown”- is that even a color?
Annoying abilities- Another Keyblade master *pukes*, ability to become Sora, ability to survive head wounds that would normally kill most humans, warping cannon to such extremes it creates the giant black hole of suckyness that is this fic.
Possessions- her very own sueblade
Sue types- Situational!Sue, OOC Character, background!Sue, Friend!Sue, Thunder!Sue, Insertion!Sue, Bitch!Sue, Clumsy!Sue, CanonMangler!Sue, Immitation!Sue, Popular!Sue (of the Bitch variety), Jekyll/Hyde!Sue, Probably a Hero!Sue.
Level of Sue Hell- 3rd Level, 7th circle, with the Violent against Cannon
Punishment- The Sues that are Violent against cannon are stretched forever on a burning plain, while glass shards dipped in hot sauce which itself, is on fire, rains down on their flesh. Burn Sue, Burn! BWAAAHHHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I’m ok, really…
Notes-
The Sue doesn’t really bother me that much. Kingdom Hearts is one of those fandoms that are given to horrendous mary-sues, as well as really good OCs, due to the openness of it’s canon. But this is the worst OOC Riku case I’ve ever seen in. It’s like she specifically set out to create some kind of anti-Riku, opposite of the canon Riku in every single frikin’ way- whiney, angsty, un-stoic, wimpy in combat- the list could go on and on.
He’s so OOC, that even the main Mary-Sue and another OC notice his OOCness and comment upon it. Could we possibly have a case of the characters breaking the fourth wall? Will they realize their horrible fate at the hands of their author/sue and rebel against her, and thus control their own destiny, write their own story? Only time will tell. (actually, that would make for a good parody fic.)
Sample one- like many examples of Riku’s OOCness, this pretty much speaks for itself.
“No luck then?” Tobias asked, trying not to crack a smile. Riku growled and folded his arms and set his head on the table.
“It’s sooo boring here.” Riku complained.
“Will you stop complaining. You were never this whiney before.” *!See! He’s so OOC even the OCs are aware of it!!* Tobias replied annoyed. Riku stuck out his tongue at Tobias. Tobias merely sighed and took a bite of his orange.
Sample 2- The Stu from another dimension
(I think I’ve read the fic she’s talking about- and in that one, Aros wasn’t a Stu)
Naomi finally realized what was going on. Although her dream was fuzzy and seemed far away. She specifically remembered Sora talking about two adversaries she’d have to face. One she’d know and one she wouldn’t. This was surely the first one. But she couldn’t understand why he was here. She knew about him from a fan fiction she had read once. It was a world where there was a mirror dividing up the universe. The light side and the dark side. Aros was Sora’s opposite in everyway, including in intentions.
Naomi knew how crafty he could be, remembering in the story how he tricked Sora into believing he was good, and in the end stole Sora’s heart. This brings up another question. This must be the person who Sora fought and lost against. But what did Aros do to Sora? Did he really steal Sora’s heart? And why didn’t Riku recognize him. And are there other Opposites and False Twins? There were so many questions unanswered, but Naomi decided to focus on the main problem. How to deal with Aros. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|05:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Tired!Lethal_Froggie | ] |
Welcome to Sue Hell. Abandon All Hope Yea Who Enter Here.
Submit your Sue stories by emailing them to me and have your Sues placed in their appropriate Ring of Sue Hell. email- staoge06@yahoo.com
Nightlife + 3 tests on Monday = Tired!Lethal_Froggie + No Sunday Update
Lower hell is up today. For real, this time. And in apology, here’s the Captain Malcom Reynold’s User guide and Manual- http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2588042/1/
Starting today, in Honor of the new movie Serenity (which I find ironic because serenity is one of the most overused Sue names out there), we will have Firefly Sues week. It will be interesting to see what Badfic the Pit of Voles can spawn from a series that canceled after only 13 episodes.
title- Friend
Link- http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2587336/1/
Fandom- Firefly
Perpetrator- Spice6
Rating- T
Sues- Wendy, River
Pairings- None I can see, but I’m getting whiffs of Malcom/Wendy.
Annoying origin/connection to cannon characters- Went to the Academy with River and has the Alliance on her tail. Possibly might have a thing for Malcom.
Hair-Blonde
Eyes- Green
Annoying abilities- telepathy w/ River, mad pool skillz, the ability to make River sane, understandable, and completely OOC.
Sue types- OOC Character, Friend!Sue, Cannon!Sue, Imitation!Sue, Warrior!Sue, Thunder!Sue, Possibly a Hero!Sue and Popular!Sue latter on.
Level of Sue Hell- Malebrouge/Circle 8, Bolgia Seven
Punishment- In the seventh bolgia, the Taco show/magic stick sues and the Thunder!Sues lie in a pit filled with poisonous reptiles, binding each Sue. The Thunder!Sues are punished by reptiles because they stole from cannon to supplement their lack of creativity, Thinking that it was not noticeable by the readers. The secrecy of thievery is reptilian in nature. The Snakes bite the Thunder!Sues and that which is stolen from cannon is burnt up, and when the flames die the ashes painfully reform into the Sue. The Taco Show Sues and Magic Stick Sues, because they denied their canonical bodies, spend eternity in reptile form as the reptiles which torment the Thunder!Sues, stealing their bodies while their own remains forever denied to them.
Notes- none. Too tired. But that’s ok, because this next passage pretty much speaks for itself…
Sample one
Mal was watching in fascination as a blonde haired green eyed girl cleaned out men from their money in pool. The girl couldn’t be older than 17 and she was already hustling people like a pro. Even though she kept winning men kept on playing her thinking they’d win. They thought all her winning was just beginner’s luck. Mal knew that this girl knew what she was doing quiet well. Jayne, Wash, and Zoë were in the bar with him as well. They’d just finished a job and were taking a break in the local tavern. Kaylee, River, and Simon were off looking around at the market. Inara was with a client. Book was still on the ship, he hadn’t wanted to leave.
“Any more takers?” The girl asked. She’d just finished cleaning another man’s clock.
“I’ll play you.” Jayne said and went to play him.
“She’s going to beat him and clean him out.” Mal stated.
“More than likely, sir.” Zoë said. As they thought the girl broke and sunk 5 balls. In her next shot she sank 2 more. The last shot she sank all the rest. Jayne had been beaten and hadn’t even gotten a turn. The girl took the money and Jayne went to sit at the table with the crew unhappily. A few seconds later a man in a black suit came in. Suits out here in the territories were very rare to be seen worn. Before anyone could blink the blonde girl had whipped out her gun from its holder and shot off a round into the man wearing the suit. The man fell down dead. The girl then ran outside, got on a horse, and galloped away. Everyone at the bar went back to doing what they had before the gun had gone off. Nobody even reacted to it. They acted as if it were a daily occurrence. Mal and the others, though, were wondering why the girl had shot the man. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 1st, 2005|10:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | Crackwhore!Lethal_Froggie | ] |
Welcome to Sue Hell. Abandon All Hope Yea Who Enter Here.
Submit your Sue stories by emailing them to me and have your Sues placed in their appropriate Ring of Sue Hell. email- staoge06@yahoo.com
Thank god for backups, or else I would not have a Sue for you today. I have just gotten The Sims 2: Nightlife and I am playing it like a crackwhore. Lower hell should be up sometime today.
On another note, I have descovered that the Stu in the previous fics is an Insertion!Sue.
Starting tommorow, in Honor of the new movie Serenity (which I find ironic because serenity is one of the most overused Sue names out there), we will have Firefly Sues week. It will be interesting to see what Badfic the Pit of Voles can spawn from a series that canceled after only 13 episodes.
title- Kingdom Hearts meets the House of Mouse
Link- http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2591277/1/
Fandom- Kingdom Hearts
Perpetrator- SaliorStar165
Rating- K+
Sues- Hurky- and yes, this is a girl
Pairings- Jafar/Malificent
Annoying origin/connection to cannon characters- a SeeD from the Balamb gardens, which, conicidentally, has nothing to do with either Kingdom Hearts or House of Mouse
Hair-NA
Eyes-NA
Sue types- Crackfic!Sue/stu, some Background!Sues, OOC Characters
Level of Sue Hell- Circle 7, First Level
Punishment- in the 7 circle, each sue is confined to a cubicle where they must spend all their days in complete boredom. they are all stripped of the randomness and forced to look, act, and be exactly the same as each other- since many in life where Nonconformist!Sues of some sort, they all look like blonde, ordinary-looking muddy-eyed cheerleaders. This is torture to the non-conformist sue, who's joy comes from being 'unique' from her peers. Random things (such as enchanted rolls and flatulent green flamingos) who represent their past randomness patrol the halls and inforce strict sameness, conformity and boredom amoung the sues, torturing them with various random punishments if they do not meet these requirements.
Notes- I’m sorry, but after the previous entry, it just had to be posted. Much of it is quite funny.
At least Daisy is in character.
Sample one- The Sue Appears
Sora grinned evilly. “Here’s your ‘Crabby Patty’!” He handed Spongebob ((yes, he’s back grins evilly))
Spongebob took it, and was about to take a bite when...
“Hey you! How would you feel if you were about to be eaten!” The burger said.
“AH! IT TALKED!” Spongebob screamed, dropping the patty.
A million of those horrible sandwiches started crawling toward Spongebob. “You must die... We shall eat you...” And they all put Spongebob on a grill, fried him like a burger, put him on a bun, and ate him with lots of ketchup, mustard, pickles, cheese, and every other condiment you can think of. *!Wow. This person Really doesn’t like Spongebob…!*
“Ha ha!” Sora yelled.
“Nice job!” A voice called.
Sora turned to see a girl with long brown hair. “Who are you?”
The girls brown eyes twinkled behind her glasses. “My name’s Hurky! I’m from Balamb Garden and...” Her voice trailed off as she watched the Crabby Patties sacrificing what was left of Spongebob to their king. “Since when have hamburgers been alive?”
“Since Varan jinxed a bunch of them for a prank.” Sora said, just as shocked. “Who knew they’d come up with a government. I like your shirt though!”
Hurky grinned. She was wearing a black T-shirt that said ‘I didn’t do it!’ on it. “Thanks.”
“Can you skateboard?”
“No, I’m not that good. I just like these shoes.” She was wearing black skateboarder shoes and blue jeans completed the look. *!Can anyone say Punk!Sue?!*
“Who the heck is this?” Riku pointed at Hurky.
“My name’s Hurky *!Hurky? Sounds like a noise you make before you throw up. which is how I feel looking at this sue!* and I’m a performer and SeeD from Balamb Garden! Pleased to finally meet you Nisemono!”
“If you mean the stupid clone, he’s over there cleaning tables.” Riku pointed at Haru, who almost ready to annihilate the table.
“Um... Who’s Nisemono?” Sora asked confused.
“Jeez! He’s Haru! He changed his name because Nisemono sounded dumb, or so he says.”
Hurky grinned. “Anyway, I was hoping I could get a job here!”
“You can start now then.” Mickey smiled. “Miss Hurky, was it? You said you were a performer. You can perform now if you want.”
The microphone dropped down. “Now, for her first performance ever, all the way from Balamb Garden, Hurky!”
Hurky ran on stage, tuned up her black and white guitar, and started singing. “Sora is crazy, he means everything to everyone, Sora plays pranks on the bad guys and he thinks its so funny...he isn't very cool, he isn't very smart, he may think he's hilarious but he is so...unique...”
“You stink!” Hook shouted. “Go back to Balamb Garden where you came from, you Bilge Rat!”
Hurky grabbed one of the killer burgers. “I stink, do I? Take this!” She beamed Hook with the struggling sandwich. “Ha!”
“Must destroy!” The assassin sandwiches all attacked Hook. “He destroyed our fellow burger!” *!No, attack the Sue! The SUUUUEEEEE!!* |
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| WOOts to Me! |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|10:36 pm] |
Welcome to Sue Hell. Abandon All Hope Yea Who Enter Here.
Submit your Sue stories by emailing them to me and have your Sues placed in their appropriate Ring of Sue Hell. email- staoge06@yahoo.com
Yeah! I'm done with my driver's Ed Course! WOOts to me!
Because of my happiness with finally being finished with the stupid driver's ed course, I'm gonna put up the Wednesday Sue early. I've finally settled on a Sunday-Wednesday-Saturday schedule, with every other friday being devoted to a Sue-Hell Drinking Song.
Also, Upper Hell and it's Sue inhabitants has been posted. It's the very last post on the page. Middle Hell should be up sometime tonight.
Ah yes. Nothing finishes settling your schedule and finishing your driver's Ed course like a good ol' fashioned Sue hazing. Gather around, ladies and gents, and don't forget to brings the marshmellows.
title- We’re Having a Ball in the House of Mouse!
Link- http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2591277/1/
Fandom-Kingdom Hearts
Perpetrator- DespairSpreader (This is a troll’s name, right? Please let it be a troll…)
Rating- K+
Sues- Cannon cast, ‘Mr. Mushy’ the White mushroom, ‘Boing’ the Rare Truffle, Mysterious cloaked figure called J.
Pairings- none
Special Talents- apparently magic goo is cough syrup for MCF
Special features- none
Other specialness- not really a sue, unless you count them all as OOC and Random!Stu/Sue.
Possessions- none
Sue types- Random!Sue, OOC, possibly Troll!Sue.
Level of Sue Hell- First level of hell, Trollimbo
Punishment- none
Notes- Not really a sue, I just had to put this up for the sheer WTFckery of this whole thing. It’s a crossover between House of Mouse and Kingdom hearts. Apparently, it’s based on another House of Mouse/Kingdom Hearts crossover that’s 19 frickin’ chapters long! 19! How the hell can someone write 19 chapters on House of Mouse?
The category of humor-parody that this is in lends itself to a Troll fic. At least I hope. It would scare me if people could actually write a serious fic about the House of Mouse. Still, I’ve got to post the 19-chapter one.
In terms of Sue-dom, I can’t tell what the MCF and his heartless of cuteness are here for. They just seem to be random characters thrown in for laughs. Except they’re not funny, except maybe in the ‘what the hell?’ sense. Fortunately they don’t appear much. And the author recites the lyrics to the entire House of Mouse opening Song. That amuses me greatly.
*!!* is my comments. This is to distinguish them from the author's notes.
Sample1:
“Hey, Mickey?”
“Yes, Riku?”
“How was I able to get my body back?” He wondered at his normal, physical form.
“This place gives back what people have been missing, so yeah…” *!note the logical and thorough way this author patches up plotholes…!*
“Oh, okay…”
“Sit with Soraat *!Soraat? Who the heck is this Soraat?*! that table over there, will ya? Just be quiet about it and wait for the signal,” he whispered as he pointed to the seats closest to the stage.
“Sure thing.” He guided Sora to his seat very quietly and then took a load off. *!??? Took a load off? What, was he carrying Yoda on his back?!*
The cloaked figure was now in the reservation hall.
Sample2: Oh, are these your new pets?” She motioned towards the two Heartless.
“They’re actually friends of mine. This is Mr. Mushy,” he gestured towards the White Mushroom, who bowed to Daisy.
“Hello, Mr. Mushy! You’re so cute!” *!because we all know what cute little harmless things heartless are…!* She said as she pinced his cheeks. *!Why does he not attack! Damn you heartless, why must you only kill the non-OOC characters!!*
Mr. Mushy blushed. *!how does something made of Darkness blush?!*
“…and this little bugger is Boing. Reminds me of Tigger, he does.” *!Failed Grammar school with Yoda, did you?!* He gestured to the bouncing Rare Truffle.
“Why, hello there, Boing! You’re just as cute as Mr. Mushy!” she said as she hugged the creature.
“I suggest you DON’T give him anything hyper-like, since he might wreck the place…”
“Sure thing! Note to self: no caffeine or sugar for Boing…” *!Because we all know truffles can eat without the aid of a mouth…!*
“I should get ready now.”
“Good luck with the performance!”
“Thanks. Oh, hey do you think that I can work here? Exploring got boring *!of the many words I would use to describe Kingdom Hearts, Boring would not be one of them.!* back at Kingdom Hearts… Can I serve the guests! You don’t even need to pay me!”
“As tempting as that sounds, I have to pay you. It’s 600 Munny, free food and drinks, and free access to the show.”
“Okay, later! Boing, take Mr. Mushy and go to those seats over there, near that devilish-looking guy, okay?” *!Because we all know that Sora is devilish-looking with that gravity-defying hair...!*
Boing nodded.
“Wish me luck!” J then went to get ready for the stage. |
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| Yah! my first 9th level sue! |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|01:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy! | ] |
Welcome to Sue Hell. Abandon All Hope Yea Who Enter Here.
Submit your Sue stories by emailing them to me and have your Sues placed in their appropriate Ring of Sue Hell. email- staoge06@yahoo.com
title- I think I’m in Love
Link- http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2529659/1/
Fandom-Kingdom Hearts
Perpetrator- Nalana-the-ruler-of-discord (mo’ like Ruler of Sues)
Rating- T
Sues- Jewel (yet another Sue named after rocks.)
Pairings- Riku/Jewel
Best Sue-related line- “I’LL SAVE YOU FROM THE HOE, RIKU!”
Special Talents- Canonrape powers, turning Riku into a chickenwuss, and making Sora randomly attack people. Oh and she can wield this big-ass flaming axe that’s supposed to be ‘bigger than Sora and Riku put together’. I really wish I could see that.
Special features- Mood-ring eyes, but mostly an ‘Icy blue color that looked like if she gave you a death glance it would rip right through your heart.’ Turns red in anger, and some other color for some other feeling. I don’t remember and frankly I don't care. Hair is ‘dark blonde with natural highlights, and waves’. Shiny rocks embedded in her skin.
Other specialness- Half-Demon. Last holder of something called the eternal flame. Male hater (until she finds tru-wuv). Random prophetic dreams.
Possessions- Big ass fire axe. Several magic necklaces ranging from the useful (makes portals) to the inane (glows when she’s angry). An endless supply of earth-clothes that she describes to us in excruciating detail. A tragic past. Minor plot holes. A Friend!Sue called Jessey. Thankfully, no Sueblade.
Sue types- Illogical CC/OC pair, OLPS (our love is so perfect syndrome), OOC Characters, Warrior!Sue, Bitch!Sue, Pepperjack Cheese, Seer!Sue, EvilSpawn!Sue, IISR!Sue (Insult to/Implausible Species/Rank), Last-of!Sue, Hero!Sue, Plot!Sue.
Level of Sue Hell- 9th Circle, 3rd level. The lowest level of Hell, with the Gay-Pal!Sues, and the Fiction!Sues
Punishment- The Lowest circle of Sue Hell is a massive lake consisting of liquefied romance novels and bad books. Being farthest from the divine light of canon, This liquefied goo consisting of the very worst of cannon is completely frozen, with the Sues themselves trapped in it. In the very bottom level of Sue Hell they are completely emerged in the ice, frozen, while the four heads of Suetan (one blonde w/ blue eyes, one brown with green eyes, one black with one red eye and one black eye, and one red with mood-ring eyes) gnaw on their bodies starting at the head, while Voles gnaw their bodies starting from the toes. This is why ff.net is called the ‘Pit of Voles.’
Notes- You know you’re going to have a bad fic when it begins with the words ‘One year after Kingdom Hearts took place, and Riku became good again,’
Sample: Sora goes crazy and attacks the Sue
“This is Fate Island, and over there is Destiny Island.” He showed her around the Islands.
“I’LL SAVE YOU FROM THE HOE RIKU!” A boys voice came as the boy tackled Jewel.
All Jewel saw of the boy before he tackled her was brunette gravity-defying hair.
“GET OF ME BEFORE I MUTILATE YOU!” (Get OF me? Maybe she is a Hoe!Sue.) Jewel screamed at the gravity-defying haired boy pulling out a dagger from a band around her thigh.
The boy got up. “Was I supposed to protect you from her, or her from you?” Sora asked as he pointed at them. “Oh well.” He said as he tackled both of them, (Jewel had just gotten up to.)
“Sora, get off the nice girl.” Kairi said as she pulled Sora of the two. “I’m sorry for Sora’s…. Uh…. Happiness (more like a Canon character’s instinctual rejection of the Sue), but he’ll be normal soon enough.” Kairi explained. (Sadly, no, the OOCing gets worse.)
“Who said Sora was ever normal.” Riku blurted out as he got up.
Sora punched Riku. “I AM TOO NORMALY!”
“See my point has been proven!” Riku said smirking at Jewel who was now holding her dagger to keep Sora away from her.
“Stay away from me if you want to live to see 16.” Jewel threatened.
“Sora, Kairi. This is Jewel the girl we found. Jewel, Sora Kairi.” Riku introduced. “Now Jewel. Sora is our friend; you can kill him when you turn evil. Now slowly put the dagger away.” Riku said to Jewel.
“I’m not as dumb as Sora.” Jewel piped up. (no, you’re dumber. At least in my opinion.) Putting the dagger back in its sheath. “Now what do you guys do for fun around here?” She asked bored out of her mind. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 24th, 2005|11:19 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Lazy, Lazy, Lazy | ] |
Welcome to Sue Hell. Abandon All Hope Yea Who Enter Here.
Submit your Sue stories by emailing them to me and have your Sues placed in their appropriate Ring of Sue Hell. email- staoge06@yahoo.com
Example:
title- You never know what will happen
Link- http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2366099/1/
Fandom-Kingdom Hearts
Perpetrator- Neassa
Rating- T
Sues- Valerie and Rachel
Pairings- Riku/Rachel
Special Talents- Valerie has mad sueish animal powers, and some kind of Suestiny. both have OOC and canonrape abilities
Special features- Sparkling, forest-green eyes and brown hair (Val), blue eyes and blonde hair(Rac)
Other speciallness- either twins or friends, I'm not sure which- I don't think the author does either. Apparently Rachel's the 'Stupid One', and Valerie the 'Smart one'. Also, I think that Valerie says Rachel is 'blonde at heart' despite the fact that she is...already...bonde... (my head hurts)
Possessions- Rachel has the particularly revolting nickname or 'Rach'. At least three annoying siblings that throw stuff at them. A glowing, magical PS2. Valerie has something called a Lifeblade (sounds suspiciously like another keyblade to me. From now on, these keyblades of Sue are going to be Sueblades).
Sue types- Friend!Sue, OOC Canon Characters, possibly Classic!Sue and Warrior!Sue, CanonMangler!Sue, Canonrape, Insertion!Sue, Pepperjack Cheese, Random!Sue, Clumsy!Sue, Thunder!Sue, Evil!Sue, Negative-Warrior!Sue. Rachel may be Jekyll/Hyde!Sue latter on.
Level of Sue Hell- Mostly Clumsy!Sues- so they go in the 7th circle, second level, with the pepperjack Cheeses and Insertion! Sues. Although I'm tempted to put Valerie with the Thunder!Sues in the 8th level, 7th malebrodge.
Punishment- pending. I have to find my Commedia and make it up.
Notes- This is where I make fun of the fic. But I'm lazy today, so I'm not. Consider yourself lucky, Suethor. |
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| Sue Classification of Upper Hell |
[Jan. 27th, 2005|04:37 pm] |
The classification of Sues in the Upper Hell. This is so you will know what I'm talking about when I classify a Sue and which level that Sue belongs to.
Entrance- Uncommited (Danger!Sue, Author’s block!Sue, Background!Sue, Friend!Sue, Situational!Sue)
- Danger!Sue- a character that is dangerously close to becoming a Sue, or could swing either way, depending on the skill of the author.
- Author’s Block!Sue- Starts as a decent OC but denigrates to a Sue because of lack of imagnination/author’s block
- Background!Sue- used as a Dues Ex Machina or an information booth- an underveloped or sued character who serves as a plot device, either to give information to, mysteriously come out of the blue to save, or further the plot for the main characters
- Friend!Sue- A Sue who is the friend of the Sue who is a main character. Usually a carbon copy of the main character Sue.
- Situational!Sue- A character who becomes a Sue only in certain situations, usually in a physical conflict or love scene.
Limbo- Troll Sue
- Troll Sue- a Sue created to Mock/Parody/Satirize a general type of Sue or a particular Sue
Lustful- (Illogical OC/CC, CC/CC, or OC/OC Pair, Romance Novel Fic, OOC Character, PWP, WAFF)
- Illogical OC/CC Pair- a Cannon Character paired with an OC. The OC is not always, but usually a Sue. Either the OC was custom-fitted for the CC character, in which case they fall under OLPS- (Our Love is so Perfect Syndrome), or their personalities clash too much for the pairing to work logically.
- Illogical CC/CC Pair- a pairing of two cannon characters that does not work because of 1. their personalities are incompatible 2. former relationship (family member, complete stranger, friend) or situation (social class, sexual preference, ect.)
- OC/OC pair- Usually Stu-Sue (or possibly Stu-Stu and Sue-Sue) Usually just dumb, because the story centers on the OC/OC pair and would work equally well as plain Fiction. Can also be Illogical, which just adds stupidity to idiocy, doesn’t it?
- Romance Novel Fic- more a fault of plot and writing than of sue-dom, All characters are OOC and speak in a manner similar to that of a Jane Austin Novel. A Harliquien romance writer ties up the author and writes in prose colorful enough to put Dr. Suess to shame, all leading up to a single, overblown romance/sex scene. Guilty of the following characteristics:
o Strong, Smexy Hero- Do you smell the telltale whiff of a Sub and Dom game when you open that page? Is the male lead in question dominant, powerful, strong, sexy, yet at the same time inexplicably sensitive? Is he a God!Stu or Bond!Stu? Is he the female leads idea of a perfect man? Have they been obsessing over each other in a nigh stalker-like fashion? With Whingeing? Is the Pope Catholic?
o The female lead starts out as independent, self-contained, blunt to the point of tactlessness, and above all, strong. However, this is just a front. Even though these characteristics are what the male lead admires in her, when with him she is always the submissive.
o Constantly in situations where ‘the temptatious desire to make love is constantly present’. In more angsty fics, ‘where they are always getting into embarrassing, romance-related situations.’
o Some kind of romance scene (but never flirting) in every paragraph. In angsty, usually embarrassing. Examples- near kiss, touching each other *snicker*, seeing each other naked, kiss, sex, foreplay, ect.
o Dialogue that is either teasing and bold, or angsty and full of hidden innuendo (usually extremely self-conscious). The last kind in usually in the mind, and the first spoken.
o A happy ending, but in angsty fics, not before some tragedy strikes to bring the two together.
- OOC Character- means ‘Out of Character’ Character. The cannon character acts in a way that in not canonical or in line with their personality. Usually happens around Sues, who have the curious ability to warp the space-time continuum of a fandom around them.
- PWP- Stands for ‘Plot? What Plot? Canon polt or anything remotely resembling a plot is discarded, usually in favor of sappy romance. Since the plot of many canons is part and parcel of a character’s personality, it qualifies as a OOC
- WAFF- Plottless fluff, or fluff at the expense of plot. Can be good if done within canon or possibly fanon. WAFF in the second circle is obviously not.
Gluttonous- (Bubblegum!Sue, Innocent!Sue, ChildStar!Sue, Classic!Sue)
- Bubblegum! Sue- a Preppy Sue. Generally to the point of extreme annoyance, but this Sue doesn’t know that.
- Innocent!Sue- completely and unbelievably innocent and naive of the world around her. Probably doesn’t even know what ‘going to the bathroom’ means, much less the whole birds and the bees stuff. Also comes in a child variety- a stereotypical ‘cute kid’ character.
- Childstar!Sue- an unbelievably gifted child Sue. Acts and looks much older that she could ever possibly biologically be. Usually matures very early (like an eleven-year old with ‘curves in all the right places’ *snerk*) Hangs out with, upstages, outwits, and beats characters twice her age. Unbelievably good grammar for her age, too. Tragic past- therefore, much to the readers chagrin, seemingly exempt from death. Extra protection is rewarded if the parents in question were killed in a massive catastrophe, from which the Childstar!Sue escaped with narry a scratch.
- Classic Sue- Ethereally beautiful, and unnaturally pure. Usually blonde. The most common sue. Sweet, kind, beautiful, intelligent, humorous, ect. So good and pure she can turn evil guys into fluffy bunnies with just one glance of her eye beam of sparkly doom.
Spendthrifts and misers (victim! And Warrior! Sues)
- The Warrior Sue can whip all of your arses. Really. Loud, Obnoxious, and of course, and amazing warrior (either with a sword or some for of karate- apparently in the sueniverse, there are no other fighting styles) She can hack her way through hordes of monsters, dragons, zombies, vampires, floating fish, thingies with tentacles, giants, enchanted rolls, pink flatulent flamingoes, ect, without breaking a sweat or getting one hair out of place on her thick mane of amazon-ish red hair. However, this Mary Sue can be stopped by grabbing her by the standard female grab area (her upper arm) or a quick tap to the head (they are extremely vulnerable to this, despite the fact that it would take much more force to knock a real person out)
- Victim!Sue- Feminists and empowered women beware. One touch of this creature will turn you into the same simpering, drooling invalid that they are! Crickey! Ain’t she a beut? The Victim!Sue is a damsel in distress, winy and wimpy but thankfully too stupid or weak to Angst in true Angst!Sue style. In fact, the only thing she does ‘well’, (‘well’ meaning ‘much of’), is to cry and get herself in trouble from which whatever poor character the author paired her with must rescue her from.
Wraithful and Sullen (All Angst! Sues and Bitch!Sue)
- Angst!Sue- this is pretty self-explanatory, no?
- Bitch!Sue- see above. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|11:01 pm] |
The Middle Hell. For those of you familiar with the Inferno, the divison in the Commedia is different from mine. (I.e. The text divided equally in terms of these posts) My upper hell includes 2 extra layers (the Wrathful and Sullen, otherwise known as the Bitchy Sues and Angsty Sues, and the Spendthrifts and Misers, known as the Warrior Sues and Victim Sues). Middle Hell is layers 6, 7, and the first 5 malebrouges of layer 8.
Heretics- (CanonMangler!Sue, Canonrape)
- CanonMangler!Sue- Ok, it’s bad enough that we have to read about this character, that she OOC’s our favorite CC’s around her, but does she have to mangle our fandom? Sometimes an author can change the storyline and it makes their story work, but damnit, this is not one of these times! We are left screaming “Why? WWWWWHHHHHHYYYYY! When we see the sues mangle or completely remove our cannon, replace it with stupid gibberish or seemingly nothing at all, and this does not have an effect on the story, we feel and urge to kill…rising…(transforms into the hulk) GRRRRRRRGH!
I'm calm. Really I am.
Violence
- Against The Readers (Random!Sue, Crackfic!Sue)
o Random!Sue- A sue that is completely, utterly, and stupidly random. The author thinks this makes her funny. We think it makes her annoying.
o Crackfic!Sue- a CC or OC turned into a Random!Sue in the interests of a Crackfic.
- Against Self (The Author) (Pepperjack cheese, Clumsy!Sue, Insertion!Sue)
o Pepperjack Cheese- a Sue that shares an interest(s) with the author, like the same tastes in music. Named after a particularly horrible Insertion!Hermione-Sue who shared her author’s love of Pepperjack cheese.
o Clumsy!Sue- This sue must be really clumsy, because she keeps falling into fandoms and mucking them up with her Sue space-warping powers. Makes all the other characters confused with her randomness/encyclopedic knowledge of 20th century pop/rock culture
o Insertion!Sue- the author inserts herself into the fic in the form of a Sue- except more perfect than she could ever be in real life.
- against Canon (Canon-Character Sue, Imitation!Sue, Crossover!Sue)
o Canon-Character Sue- a CC that is not only OOC, but has also been Sued. Ether that, or a body snatcher. Or a Sue that has tied up our beloved character somewhere and is masquerading as her.
o Imitation!Sue- A sue who is basically an imitation of another character, except more perfect than the CC could ever be.
o Crossover!Sue- A sue, any sue, which defiles two or more canons through a crossover fic. Usually their canon-warping powers increase multifold in a crossover fic.
Fraud
- Panderers, Seducers (Hoe!Sue, Suecubus)
o Hoe!Sue- Basically, a Sue that’s a hoe. Shags everything on two legs and sometimes, depending on the genre, four.
o Suecubus- a Sue whose purpose in the story is to seduce every male (and sometimes female) in the fandom. Feeds on attention. May or may not sleep with them.
- Flatterers (Pretty!Sue, Shallow!Sue, Elvin!Sue)
o Pretty!Sue- a Sue that is unbelievably pretty…and not much else. Still gets all the guys to fall for her, through.
o Shallow!Sue- a variant of Pretty!Sue. Serves only as eye candy, and not much else. Since she is only her appearance, she judges other CC’s by their appearance. A Shallow!Sue would never be caught dead with an ugly CC character.
o Elvin!Sue- a sue that is of a particular species, not so they can have special powers, but because the author thinks that this species is ‘pretty’. Paragraphs are spent on her ‘ethereal beauty’.
- Simonacs (Benefit!Sue, SpecialPower!Sue)
o Benift!Sue- a sue who has all the advantages of her specific race/species, but none of the disadvantages. An example would be a vampire that can walk in sunlight.
o SpecialPower!Sue- A sue with an uncanonical power. Usually stupid. Like a girl that can talk to animals and make things grow with her mind in a space-faring, post-apocalyptic fic.
- Fortunetellers (Seer!Sue)
o A Sue that can see into the future, often without explanation or even a vehicle, such as a dream or special device, to see into the future.
- Grafters (Popular!Sue, Matchmaker!Sue)
o Popular!Sue- comes in two varieties. The first is the Sue which is so nice that everyone loves her/is friends with her, even bad guys, and if you find this sickening, you’re a meany poo-poo head. The second is the Bitch!Sue which despite her bitchiness everyone adores her anyway.
o Matchmaker!Sue- a type of Insertion!Sue who pairs up two characters the author wants to see together. Can be CC or OC. Often seen eavesdropping on one or both of the unlucky pair, or reading their diaries, even the ones labeled READ THIS ON PAIN OF DEATH! |
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| Sue Hell- Lower Levels |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|06:26 pm] |
Continuing at the 8th level-
- Hypocrites (Misfit! Sue, Jekyll/Hyde Sue, Nice!Stu, EvilSpawn!Stu)
o Misfit!Sue- Supposedly misfits, geeks, nerds, ect until she gets a makeover an reveals her true form (usually a Suecubus or, occasionally, a Hoe!Sue). Usually uncovers some talent that makes her popular/loved.
o Jekyll/Hyde!Sue- sweet and cuddly one second, evil the next. Sometimes this is accomplished by a spell cast on her by the bad guy, who is in lust with her. But sometimes she’s just insane. Whatever the reason, once she comes to her senses, the hero’s party will welcome her with open arms, completely forgiving her.
o Dork!Stu- the nerdy guy that the lead is ‘just friends’ with, and the Dork!Stu is obsessed with. Often turns to the dark side against those who ‘treated him so bad’.
o EvilSpawn!Sue- Related to the evil character in some way. Turns to the side of good, revealing the main evil dude’s weaknesses, like his Britney Spears CD collection.
- Thieves (Taco Show/Magic Stick, Thunder!Sue)
o Taco Show/Magic Stick- Sues of people in denial of their slashy side. They change a male character into female so that they justify pairing two men together, or vice-versa
o Thunder!Sue- a sue that steals another character’s thunder. An example would be a KingdomSue who has a keyblade and is destined to help Sora open the door to the light. (Damn you KingdomSue! Give Sora back his thunder!)
- Evil Councilors (Evil!Sue, Perfect Villian!Sue, Negative-Classic Sue, Negative Warrior Sue)
o Evil!Sue- Sues that nobody wanted, so an author picked them up and made them into Evil Henchmen. Come in two varieties- humorously incompetent, and annoyingly persistent.
o Perfect Villian!Sue- A sue who is the ‘perfect villain’- cold, calculating, emotionless, exaggerated villainy, extremely powerful, never gives up until beaten, may have an unusual way of analyzing the enemy. May or may not be in love w/ main charater(s).
o Negative-Classic!Sue- Basically, an Evil classic sue. A type of Suecubus, or a Hoe!Sue. often a Goth!Sue, with Cajun coffee black eyes, and toilet paper white skin. She usually is sent to join the male lead’s team, either to spy on the male lead or seduce the male lead. First to jump ship to good. May sacrifice her self out of unrequited love for the hero.
o Negative-Warrior!Sue- the evil dude’s #1 henchman, an invincible female Sue. Despite this, she always lets the hero’s party get away because- you guessed it- she’s fallen in love with the hero. She usually dies in a similar way to the NCS, except out of unrequited love for the villain, and the chances are much more likely.
- Sowers of discord (Part/Half/Hybrid!Sue)
o Hybrid!Sue- usually a combination of two species for which it is either highly unlikely or physically impossible for them to produce a child. Usually falls for a cannon character who is of a different species than herself.
- Falcifiers (Bloodline!Sue)
o Bloodline!Sue- has an impossible/ludicrous/stupid bloodline or family connections, like a Sue who is the daughter of Voldemort and granddaughter of Dumbledore.
Traitors
- to Genetics (Insult to/Implausible Species/Rank!Sue, Pureblood!Sue, Last-of!Sue)
o IISR!Sue- Often a combination of bloodline!Sue and Hybrid!Sue (although may sometimes be a Pureblood!Sue)- she usually has more species/bloodlines than you can shake a stick at. Despite this, she is nothing like her fellow hobbits/elves/angels/whatever-the-hell’s she’s supposed to be. An example is a LotR Sue who’s part hobbit/elf/human and descendent of Sauron, who lives in the shire because she most resembles a hobbit, except that she can do magic and wants to go adventuring.
o Pureblood!Sue- Any Sue which is a pureblood something or another. Usually a princess, due to inherit a kingdom named after their pureblood race or whatever. Like the pureblood Catgirl going to Hogwarts who is the princess of Catgirlmerica or Catgirlexico or something like that.
o Last-of!Sue- any sue that is the last of a particular race. Though, judging from the sue, if this is what the rest of the race is like, I say kill it before it breeds- we’ll be doing the universe a favor.
- to Language (Horrible English/Purple Prose)
o Sues and their authors who are guilty of L33tspeak, AIM speak, Ebonics, Inane/made up jargon, poor grammar, misspelling, lisps, purple prose, and all other manglings of the English language
- to OC’s (Hero!Sue, God/Bond!Stu)
o Hero!Sue- a Sue who upstages the main character completely, taking over his spot in the plot. The CC character may or may not remain. Excessive Canonrape likely. An example from the potterverse would be ‘The Girl who Lived’ *shudder*
o God/Bond Stu- That annoying male character in the fic that keeps zapping things with his uber powers. God!Stu is my brother when he was five- running around pretending to be Batman, with a black and white striped pillowcase as a cape, arguing over who was going to be the bad guy. Unlike God!Stu, my brother grew out of it (mostly). With some OC’s, this harmless little game stucks to their ego and grows so large it pops out their brains and becomes God!Stus. He’s fearsome, powerful, deadly, with a 8 pack you could bounce a silver dollar off of and an aura that makes females (and some males) swoon. Bond!Stu is similar, except the emphasis is more on his ability to seduce any and all female characters (no female is safe!), his charm and wit, and on nifty gadgets.
- to Cannonscense or Common sense (Plot!Sue, Gay-Pal Sue, Fiction!Stu)
o Plot!Sue- The Author completely does away with cannon plot and establishes a new plot which centers exclusively around the Sue, the center of this new Universe. It briefly resembles cannon plot in that the names of characters, places, and things are mentioned, however they have been completely changed from their originals by the author’s canonrape.
o Gay-pal!Sue- an extremely heterosexual sue (usually established by her being a suecubus or a Hoe!sue) who befriends two gay CCs in a slashfic. Despite her continual bashing of gay people and Bitch!Sue tendencies, the fic begins to center around her and one or both of the slashed couple falls in love with her. Wow. Canonrape and realityrape. Damnit authors, gay men don’t fall in love with Sues!
o Fiction!Sue- A Sue fiction masquerading as a fanfiction. Canon isn’t warped, it’s simply non-existant- you can read pages and pages and not see a single cannon name or term. The Sue exists in a severely twisted canon world, without ever encountering a single cannon character, term, theme, ect. Fiction!Sue-fics would do much better just tweaked and put into the plain old ‘fiction’ section. |
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